Synopsis:
Prince Adam discovers that the strange memories shaping his life are real when the lost Sword of Power resurfaces, forcing him to return to Eternia and challenge the tyrant who shattered his family and kingdom.
My Edition:
Streaming on Amazon Prime
My Thoughts:
I will admit – I didn’t have super high hopes going into this movie (and that was well before the halfway point of the film, when I was informed that Skeletor was being played by Jared Leto). Not because of lack of love for the source material – I grew up watching He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (the one from the 80s, not any of the…9,000,000,000 other versions that apparently exist now), and despite understanding that it is not the greatest movie ever made, I can’t kill my love for 1987’s Dolph Lundgren masterpiece Masters of the Universe.
That being said – I found Knight’s take on Masters of the Universe incredibly entertaining. And, much as it feels morally wrong to say this, I enjoyed Jared Leto’s performance immensely. Did you know he could act? Nor did I. And yet – his campy-ass take on Skeletor is one of the best aspects of Masters of the Universe. He is the campiest camper who ever camped. He’s a weird, grumpy, snarky hornball who may or may not (but definitely is) a little bit enamored of He-Man. All that talk of big swords and thick thighs got my skull-faced friend verklempt. Leto actually brings what I’m almost certain will be considered the performance of his lifetime. He’s not the high-pitched whackjob from the cartoon, but he might be something even better. He’s campy, his accent is on a fifty-way trip around the universe (it’s seriously random in the most delightful way), and just like the Skeletor of my youth, he’s a world-class whiner.
Also, there’s so many delightful nods to silly things you might remember from the cartoon, such as the fully nonsensical way characters laughed with their entire bodies:
Or this, the most perfect video to ever be uploaded to the internet (besides maybe that fire safety PSA GI Joe parody).
Well, I think we’ve officially hit the point in this mess of an article that was supposed to be about how exhausted I am by nostalgia-bait where I’ve become the very thing that I hate…
But, anyway, long digression into the early internet aside, I do think that Masters of the Universe works precisely because it refuses to take itself too seriously. What could have been another boring nostalgia trap about manly men doing manly men stupid shit (I don’t know what you people do), this is instead a fun, silly fantasy-action romp that actually has a surprising amount of heart. And if you were able to miss all the manufactured internet drama about He-man having pronouns on his work nameplate, please know that I will die envying you. Like, seriously people. The Pronouns Person uses PRONOUNS?! The horror!
If that makes/made you mad, I want you to know that A) your ignorance is truly boundless, and B) you’re actually so willfully ignorant that I don’t even think it’s funny. I’m just sad for you.
I actually thought that the pronouns bit was an exceptional sight-gag. Not only was it silly, but it let all the “somehow I exist in a world without pronouns” crowd know this movie was not going to be for them. And it wasn’t – I feel like the moral of this story is less about being the Muscles Guy than it was being the Well-Adjusted Guy. Having the muscles was cool and useful, but having a strong character and caring about others was also very useful. Maybe more so. It was clearly confusing for everyone involved, but that made it all the better as stories go, because we get to unlearn some really toxic social conditioning (that manliness means physical might and toughness) right along with the fine weirdos of Eternia.
And if you thought you were escaping this idiot, you’d be wrong. Sort of. He’s a cameo at the end.
Rating:
I dunno – I think it’s worth checking out. I promise you’ll forget Jared Leto is even involved.
Masters of the Universe
Written by: Chris Butler, Aaron Nee, Adam Nee
Directed by: Travis Knight
Amazon MGM (I almost threw up typing that)
US Release Date: June 5, 2026
Rated: PG-13
140 minutes (not sure why this long, but not mad)
