Category: Reviews

Synopsis: A CIA special forces team are betrayed and left…

Contains: Donald Sutherland being amazing, sadness, red-coated children and bad people, church restoration, some of the most realistic sex you’ll ever see on camera, beautiful shots of Venice.

Contains: face transplant surgery, amazing dialogue, creepy face petting, a weird alternate reality where Nicolas Cage and John Travolta have similar builds.

Contains: that girl from Pretty Little Liars, black goo, wishes gone wrong, Michael Peña talking at a normal speed.

Contains: what ol’ Jack Burton always says, the Pork Chop Express, a reasonable guy, rolling thunder, crashing lightning, a girl with jade green eyes.

Contains: the uber-wealthy being a bunch of self-important, murderous jerks.

Contains: a squishy house, CM Punk playing a total heel.

Contains: lots of blood, vengeance, Haka, a full Maori cast.

Contains: creepy relationships, probable incest, people under stairs, weird mutations, gimp suited rampaging.

Contains: 4+ hours of 80’s horror love.