Written by: Julie Brown, Charlie Coffey, Terrence E. McNally
Directed by: Julien Temple
Starring: Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey, Damon Wayons, Julie Brown, Michael McKeen, Charles Rocket
Full disclosure: Earth girls really are easy. I have seen this movie an absurd number of times. It is the story of a Valerie, a Valley Girl manicurist and the three alien visitors who crash-landed in her pool.
I learned that the plot was actually built around the title song, which came from a 1984 Julie Brown album.
This is a musical. Just so I’ve thrown that out there. Not like, an every five minutes there’s a song and dance number, but there are a few songs peppered throughout. Most of them are Julie Brown – the standouts being “I Like ‘Em Big and Stupid” and “Cause I’m a Blonde.” Although, for the record Geena Davis does perform one song, which I thought she did a pretty good job of even though the song itself isn’t my favorite. But even if you’re not big on musicals, if you like 80s stuff in general, or you like movies about Valley Girls, or comedies, or if you’ve just never seen this, you should really give it a shot. It’s pretty wonderful.
It’s funny, it’s sweet, and even though it’s incredibly 80s it still doesn’t feel dated. I have the special edition DVD (see above), and the scan is wonderful. It’s super crisp, and all of the makeup effects and sets and stuff still totally hold up on the up-scaled version.
“These degenerates broke into my home and destroyed my property. I want them arrested right now. They’re MTV scum!”
Basically, the movie goes something like this:
- Valerie catches her fiancee about to have sexy-time with a nurse because he thinks she’s out of town at a nail convention
- he refers to him as Dr. Love
- Val throws sushi at him, and it splats against the wall
- She breaks a bunch of stuff while singing
- aliens spy on Valerie as she sunbathes
- they fight over who gets to spy and end up crashing their ship in her pool (not a euphemism)
- The sushi is still on the wall
- she takes them to Curl Up and Dye where Candy gives them makeovers and they become hot Earth Dudes
- Candy decides they’ll make fine clubbing dates
- “Valerie, are we limp and hard to manage?”
- Angelyne cameos
- Woody’s Woody gets stolen and plummets down the freeway backwards, giving us a shot of Frankenstein’s car (from Deathrace) for some reason
- Get back with Dr. Love, Valerie, it’s totally what’s best for you. Marry him!
- Jk – do they have margaritas in space? Oh, Earth girls.
Of all the ways this movie’s legacy could have been seen, I’d be lying if I said I expected it to be this way:
There was also a stage production for a while beginning in 2001 with none of the original stars save Julie Brown, who did reprise her role as Candy.
