5 Movies Even I Can’t Believe I’ve Never Seen

Recently I’ve seen a handful of movies that, after seeing them, I can’t quite wrap my mind around how the hell I managed to miss them. I’ve also seen a bunch of movies for the first time this year – some of them weren’t new, but none of them seemed weird – as for the five below, even I was surprised that I hadn’t seen them. Some of them I didn’t even know existed, which was really strange since every single one in some way relates to something that I really, really like.
So, here goes:

  1. Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)
Transylvania 6-5000 movie cover

2 reporters played by Jeff Goldblum and Ed Begley Jr. are sent to Transylvania by their tabloid paper to find Frankenstein. The locals laugh at them, but even still, something strange is going on… Transylvania 6-5000 came out in 1985. Since I was busy with the business of being born at the time, it’s not exactly news that I didn’t see this when it came out. But what is strange is that I didn’t even know it existed until this year. I love basically the entire cast, I love monster movies, and I love Mel Brooks’ style satire. Oh, and I’m pretty on board with Geena Davis channeling her inner Vampira:

Geena Davis in Transylvania 6-5000

So, long story short, I watched it and it is FUNNY. Like, really funny. I watched it on Tubi (the free part), so if you have access to Tubi I highly recommend that you watch it too.

2. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers movie cover

With a name like Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, I didn’t need a whole lot of convincing that this was going to be my kind of movie. I was not disappointed. This movie is legit about chainsaw-wielding sex workers murdering their Johns resulting in literal fountains of blood and flying body parts. This movie is FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. I was very surprised to have not seen it since as I mentioned in a previous post, we are a Linnea Quigley-positive household. I thought I had seen pretty much all she had done.

Linnea Quigley doing the dance of the two chainsaws

Did I mention she does a (mostly) nude chainsaw dance? Plus there’s cults, weird hard-boiled dickery, and voiceovers that don’t necessarily match the actions they’re describing. This movie is magical. Shawn has it on VHS, and IMDB only really tells you whether or not their parent company has movies these days, but I’m sure you can find it somewhere. Even if you have to pay a few bucks to see it, I promise – it’s well worth it.

3. Top Secret (1984)

Top Secret movie cover

Again, I feel like I should get a pass – this one came out the year before I was born. But then again, there’s really no excuse for why I didn’t know of its existence in the 34 years I HAVE been around. As the cover says, this is from the makers of Airplane, so… it’s silly. It’s a spy parody set during WWII, and starring a young, and very attractive Val Kilmer as a rock singer who becomes involved in a resistance plot with the goal of liberating a scientist from East Germany.

Young Val Kilmer from Top Secret

Peter Cushing makes an appearance too, but I think he deserves to be bit of a surprise. Go watch this movie! We watched it on Pluto, but you can also rent it from all the usual places for fairly cheap.

4. Meet the Feebles (1989)

Meet the Feebles poster

Peter Jackson’s second time at bat, Meet the Feebles is a bizarre, sex- and drug-fueled shit show. But I mean that in the best possible way. I knew this one existed, but I had never been able to find it. I mean, I knew Shawn had it I suppose, but it never occurred to me that I should actually watch it. But I’m really glad I did. It’s insane. There’s muppety grotesqueness all over the damned place.

Gross rabbit from Meet the Feebles

This movie probably isn’t for everybody, but I thought it was sick, twisted, and really funny. It’s like a comedy of terrors. Imagine a feature length Charles Entertainment Cheese-based snuff film – that’s kind of what this is.

5. Fright Night Part 2 (1988)

Fright Night Part 2 poster

Full disclosure – I didn’t even know this movie existed until this year. And I loooove the first Fright Night. This one features Jerry’s sister Regine Dandridge who is out to avenge her brother in the most convoluted way possible. She’s a real Kate Bush-type, which I am all for. The story is silly, but Regine is wacky enough that she makes up for it.

Regine Dandridge on dance floor holding crucifix

As sequels go, this one was alright. The story was thin, but it was a lot of fun! Plus, we also watched the remade “sequel” 2013’s dumpster fire of a direct to video sequel Fright Night 2 around the same time, so this one seems like Shakespeare by comparison (seriously, if you’ve not seen that one DON’T).

Are there any movies you’ve seen recently that you couldn’t believe you hadn’t seen or that you weren’t even aware of?

Author: Angie
Stranger Sights is a genre entertainment blog. It is run by me, Angie, and all opinions you'll find here are my own.

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