Synopsis:
This horror adaptation of the popular ’70s TV show about a magical island resort has the mysterious Mr. Roarke once again giving life to the dreams of his guests – but they soon learn that some fantasies are better left unrealized as their dreams turn into nightmares. In order to make it off the island with their lives, these not-so-lucky guests are going to have to solve the mystery of what makes this island tick.
Before We Officially Begin:
First of all, I’m sorry to all of you that I’m going so few and far between on reviewing theater releases. I want to say it’s because I’m so busy with other things, but in reality it is a combo platter of money and general anxiety. I can’t deal with the crowds (not to mention my local theater has a real problem with people who treat the theater like it’s their personal one – watching movies with their bare feet all over everything – which skeezes me out to no end, or bringing full meals with them – I REALLY don’t want to hear some fucking weirdo slurping spaghetti while I’m trying to watch this expensive-ass movie, ya know?). Oh, and also, my local theater very rarely plays anything interesting. They’ll put Call of the Wild and Sonic the Stupid Fucking Blue Hedgehog on 16 screens for the next 4 months, but The Lodge was there for, like, 3 days – and I didn’t get a chance to see it. I’m super bummed.
But, I’ve still got hope that I’ll get a chance to see The Invisible Man, and Bloodshot. I’m pretty sure this is why we legalized weed, right?
My Thoughts:
Ok, so on to Fantasy Island!
I noticed that there is a strange amount of vitriol being aimed at this movie. I’m going to say straightaway – I don’t get it. Was it award-worthy? No. But it was a surprising amount of fun. I wonder if this is the whole “no PG-13 horror” thing rearing its ugly head again (you can peep my article for Horror Bound on that very subject here, if you’re interested. Come for my shit, stay for all the other good stuff!). I mean, I’m not here to tell you what to like, but I think this one deserves at the very least a 5/10 on IMDB (It’s currently at 4.6, and even lower on Rotten Tomatoes). But, I think that it’s revenue bears out that in spite of generally negative critic reviews, people were still definitely going to see it, so there’s that. It had a $7 million budget, but has so far grossed $41.6 million worldwide.
First of all, it has a pretty strong cast. I mean, Michael Peña, Maggie Q, Michael Rooker, Lucy Hale, and…others. Not gonna lie, I don’t know who those other people are, but they were still all pretty good. I’d watch those first 3 just do a movie all by themselves, so, I’m good with the casting.
I thought Peña was great as Mr. Roarke. But, to be honest, I’m always happy with his performances. Dude’s got range. He’s so much more than just the one Edgar-Wright-style-fast-talking guy in Ant-Man. He brought just the right amount of slightly sinister charisma to this role. And even better (although this probably speaks more to the writing than Peña’s performance), his motivations, and even what is going on here isn’t immediately apparent. I don’t care about the lack of gore or whatever in PG-13 horror, but I do hate it when the plot suffers under the weight of keeping it youngster-friendly – but that really isn’t a problem here.
Michael Rooker is perfect, as per usual. He plays…actually I’m not going to tell you what role is. I wouldn’t want to spoil anything by accident. But enjoy this still of him looking Peak-Rooker, but it what might be the most awful shirt/vest combo you’ll ever see. My goodness his wardrobe in this one is truly something to behold. I mean, the colors, the stripes, he looks like someone’s lost, drunk, tropical dad.
The effects were pretty well done, I thought. The cinematography (done by Toby Oliver) was good. Neither were particularly special, but they were at least competently handled, for sure. It’s also worth mentioning that I’ve seen on some major critical sites which I shan’t name that the film’s premise is some variation on ‘completely nonsensical,’ but I have to wonder – did those people know what they were watching? I mean, if something is going to be adapting a pre-existing work, and keep the same general premise, it…kinda makes sense…if the premises are the same, no? So, ummm…did these people ever watch the show? Cuz, like, it kind of all hinges on that nonsensical premise. OMG this really is my Horror Bound argument all over again, isn’t it?
I guess I’ll just say this – the movie was fun. You don’t have to like it, but if the reason that you didn’t like it relates back to not liking the premise because it’s ‘nonsensical’ I beg you to settle the hell down. It’s called FANTASY Island, not SENSIBLE Island, after all.
Rating:
It was totally entertaining! It is still playing in theaters, so if it’s still showing near you I recommend checking it out.
Fantasy Island Directed by: Jeff Wadlow Released: February 14, 2020 Blumhouse Productions Fantasy, Horror Distributed by: Sony Pictures PG-13 109 Minutes
