It really does just get better with age. Have you seen this John Woo masterpiece? Welp, either way, strap in motherfuckers, cuz this is gonna be a real weird ride. And there’s gonna be a lot of creepy face petting.
Wait, what?
Yes, face petting.
Synopsis:
In order to foil a terrorist plot, an FBI agent undergoes facial transplant surgery and assumes the identity of a criminal mastermind, who murdered his only son. The plan turns sour when the criminal wakes up prematurely and seeks revenge.
Facial. Transplant. Surgery.
Did you get that?
Once more for the people in the back row:
Facial/Transplant/Surgery.
Holy shit I love this movie.
Stats:
Directed by: John Woo
Written by: Mike Werb and Michael Colleary
Budget: $80 million
Entertainment Value: Priceless
My Thoughts:
Imagine a world in which cops are able to infiltrate terrorist cells by capturing their leaders and stealing their faces to wear, Leatherface style (but ultimately much more polished, and less terrifying to behold than all that) in order to “become” them – thus taking them down from the inside. Now, you’re probably thinking: “That’s fucking stupid,” and you aren’t wrong, but, and here’s where it gets good – not only can they take their (ahem) faces off, but they can use some sort of witchcraft/technology to perfectly match their voices. Now imagine in this world that from the neck down, Nic Cage and John Travolta are virtually indistinguishable (cuz apparently they’ll also mimic scars/body hair/regrettable tattoos/the list, I’m sure, goes on).
I’m not sure there is another movie in existence that is quite so perfect as Face/Off. You might go into this thinking, ‘oh, this is just going to be another Nic Cage doing Peak Nic Cage.’ But you’re WRONG. This movie is John Travolta doing Peak Nic Cage. AND IT IS UTTER PERFECTION.
There are a lot of known entities here, but honestly, Travolta-Cage is kind of all that matters. There is no Dana – only Travolta-Cage (admittedly, this is probably not the correct venue for a bastardized Ghostbusters reference).
“No more drugs for that man!
And don’t you fret, there’s a fair bit of Cage-as-Cage shenanigans before the faces come…off. Papa Troy with the church choir *muah.* Glorious. HALLELUJAH!
This movie is so filled with fun, hilarious insanity. But it’s also an interesting story. It’s a little sci-fi, a little action, a lot dark comedy. I also love that the brothers are Castor and Pollux Troy… Like as in Castor and Pollux brothers of Helen…of…Troy. The Gemini twins. Ugh. So many layers. Such nuance. Love, love, love.
You look like you just fucked your mother.”
There’s a bomb. A murdered kid. A bunch of life-stealing. Some prison shenanigans. A prison break. A scared wife. Experimental face transplantation technology that’s never fully explained. And again, a lot of really uncomfortable face touching.
And lest you forget you’re watching a John Woo masterpiece, there is a scene with flappy doves in a church. That man loves him some flappy-flappy doves, amirite? This is no Woo/Chow Yun Fat masterwork, but it is its very difference from what I feel I’m forced to call Peak Woo that makes it so magical. This isn’t gritty mega-action. It’s over the top nonsensical mega-action. You know from the opening scene that this is not a movie grounded in reality, like, at all.
This movie exists in a wondrous time before we decided that Nic Cage’s style of scenery- and dialogue-Hulk-smashing was something to be frowned upon. We still loved his hammy style of acting (and some of us still do, dammit). Face/Off is pure, bonkerballs perfection.
In closing, I’d like to leave you with the BEST MOVIE DIALOGUE OF ALL TIME:
Sean Archer: l’d like to take his… his face… off. Yes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, l have to use the little boy’s wee-wee room.
[Sean stands and starts to walk away]
Dietrich: Cas…
[Sean turns back to Dietrich]
Dietrich: You wanna take his… face…
Sean Archer: [smiles widely] Yes. His face… off. Eyes…
[Sean slightly pinches Dietrich’s nose]
Sean Archer: …nose. Skin. lt’s coming off.
[Sean walks away, leaving the others totally confused by his last words]
Dietrich: [mimicks Sean’s gesture] The face… off.
I mean…holy shitsnacks…movie dialogue just cannot get any better than this.
I tried to keep this exploration of Face/Off as disjointed as the movie itself. Consider it Angie writing in Full-Cage. Lots of Caps Lock, really all over the place. How’d I do?
My Edition:
Special Collector’s Edition which includes:
Commentary by director John Woo and writers Mike Werb and Michael Colleary
Commentary by writers Mike Werb and Michael Colleary
Deleted scenes with commentary
The light and the dark: making Face/Off
John Woo: a life in pictures
My Rating:
There’s no way you’re surprised. This movie is incredible, and the special features on the disc were pretty good. I loved the deleted scenes, and the Making Of, in particular.
Face/Off Directed By: John Woo Originally Released: June 27, 1997 Paramount Action, Thriller Edition: Special Collector's Edition Blu ray Rated R 138 Minutes
SO much uncomfortable face petting. And an unapologetic lack of explanation for how Cage and Travolta’s body structures and face structures could possibly be surgically altered to look like each other. I love this movie.
They actually address that at one point by saying something to the effect of the differences in their body shape/size as being negligible.
I mean, it’s very clearly not, but…whatever. I love that this movie is apologetically bizarre and implausible.