Synopsis:
Stranded in an isolated motel, a couple become the unsuspecting subjects of a snuff film.
My Version:
DVD
My Thoughts:
I genuinely don’t understand why people like this movie. I saw it back when it was in theaters, and I remember thinking it was really mid. Seeing it again a few days ago, I’d change my summation from ‘mid’ to say that Vacancy is ‘actually pretty terrible.’
It’s too bad, because Frank Whaley is predictably wonderful. But Ethan Embry is criminally wasted, and watching Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale duke it out for ‘who seems less committed to being here’ for an entire hour and 25 minutes is painful. The delivery of dialogue by the two protagonists is actually tragic. I like Luke Wilson well enough, but…I don’t think he wanted to be doing this. And it shows. And Kate Beckinsale delivers the most ridonkulous all-over-the-place “American” accent you could possibly imagine. She is quite literally just mimicking whoever she’s talking to at the time. And considering how vastly different the accents that Luke and Frank (pretty much the only people she talks to) are, she’s wildly and weirdly inconsistent.
As for the story, there are some plot holes and logic gaps you could ram a spaceship through. I’ve briefly catalogued a few of the most glaring ones here – two are potential spoilers, so I’ll cover them, but the rest I think should be fine:
- Why didn’t the apple brown at all? It had been HOURS. Does Amy have magic blood?
- How’d they get the rug to lay nicely when they left (applies to everyone who did this).
- Why did no more police come to check up on their missing colleague?
- WHO THE FUCK IS THAT THIRD KILLER, WHERE DID HE COME FROM, AND WHY DOES HE JUST CONVENIENTLY APPEAR WHEN THEY NEED HIM?!
- Why did the manager never go into the tunnels? It would have made things a lot easier for them.
Vacancy has a surprisingly high rating (over 50%) on most review aggregate sites I’ve looked at. It’s breaking my brain. It is mindless. It’s silly, but not in a way that feels fun. It watches like a movie that was either A) absolutely decimated in post to the point where it’s barely coherent, or B) the script could have used several more passes by a competent editor or 5.
Rating:
I feel like maybe 2 stars is me being generous. I felt indifferent to it when I first finished it, but the more time I have to ruminate on what was and what could have been, the more annoying I find it. These are 2 B-list actors. They should be better than this. And I don’t understand how such a poorly fleshed out story ever made it to screen. It’s almost got to be cut scenes and/or outside intervention, because as mentioned above, the plot holes and logic gaps are ENORMOUS. I think the joke here is that the “vacancy” is in the plot.
Vacancy
Directed by: Nimród Antal
Written by: Mark L. Smith
Screen Gems
Hal Lieberman Company
US Release Date: April 20, 2007
Rated R
85 Minutes
