Directed by: Paul Flaherty
Written by: William Porter, Steven Kampmann
Starring: Martin Short, Charles Grodin, Mary Steenburgen
As per usual, I’m adding to the WTF Did I Just Watch category a movie that not only have I seen numerous times, but one that I absolutely love. That category is now officially overflowing with wonderful movies.
But Clifford. Gah. What a gut-explodingly funny movie. Why is Martin Short playing a child? Why is Dabney Coleman so perfect? Who convinced Charles Grodin to play a perfectly reasonable human person (a feat not seen, if I’m not mistaken since 1981’s The Incredible Shrinking Woman) who is inevitably driven to the brink of violence and insanity by the most god-awful literal man-child who has ever been spawned upon this Earth? Why is Clifford so fucking intolerable/hilarious? These are all good questions that Clifford is simply not going to answer for you.
Instead, you’ll get 90 minutes of sheer, unbridled insanity surrounding a mythical wonderland called Dinosaur World (jk, it’s a real place – a theme park that Clifford’s Uncle Martin [Charles Grodin] designed the attractions for) that Clifford is positively obsessed with. Because if you recall, Clifford is, ostensibly a young child. A young child who wants to go to Dinosaur World so badly that he will stop at NOTHING to get there. Like, seriously, nothing.
“If you do one thing that I find weird, which is, you know, like, your middle name… See? You’re doing it right now. Can you just act like a human boy for one minute here? Look at me like a person! You can’t do it for more than a few seconds. Look at me like a human boy!”
Clifford was not critically well-received. In fact, Siskel and Ebert placed it on their ‘Worst of 1994’ list, stating that Martin Short “looked creepy” playing a 10 year-old boy. If there is one thing I learned growing up in what used to be known as Gen Y, it’s that if Siskel and Ebert hated it, I was probably gonna love it. No exception here. Were they right about Short looking creepy? Absolutely – but that’s a big part of what makes this movie so much fun.
But the real gem here is the on-screen chemistry between the three main players – Short, Grodin, and Steenburgen. They’re all incredibly funny people on their own (RIP Charles Grodin, you were rad), but together they’re positively magical. Mary Steenburgen’s Sarah is so wonderfully sweet and always tries to look at the bright side. Charles Grodin is perfect as the man trying his absolute best to deal with a child who clearly has Chaos Demons where his brain should be. And Martin Short is pitch-perfect as the diabolical, scheming little asshat Clifford.
“Don’t worry about Clifford, he’ll be fine if you give him a ton of sugar and a book about Hitler.”
Look – I talk about this movie a lot in my day-to-day life. I think about even more. Like, probably a weird amount. I was also the perfect age to enjoy this movie (was I? Or is this one of those movies it was weird for me to like as a kid but I did anyway). Either way, if you liked Problem Child but found you wanted it to go harder, Clifford might be just the movie you’re looking for. You should definitely give it a shot.
You can watch it for free on Roku, Tubi, or Pluto, or you can rent it from basically all the places. I highly recommend it if you like a slightly slappy, very sarcastic dark comedy about monster-children.
