Synopsis:
A fateful family trip to an amusement park. An island movie theater that takes more than the patrons’ cash. A cross-country drive with an unexpected encounter. A family man hellbent on making great time, no matter the cost. Fourteen horror authors share terrifying and twisted tales of summer vacation gone wrong in Worst Laid Plans: an Anthology of Vacation Horror.
Worst Laid Plans includes stories by V. Castro, Hailey Piper, Patrick Lacey, Scott Cole, Laura Keating, Malcolm Mills, Jeremy Herbert, S. E. Howard, Chad Stroup, Kenzie Jennings, Waylon Jordan, Greg Sisco, Asher Ellis, and Mark Wheaton, as well as a special introduction by Sadie Hartmann.
Edition:
Paperback ARC
Disclosure:
I received a review copy of Crossroads from the publisher in exchange for review consideration. They give me no money, nor do they in any way influence my thoughts – those are 100% my own for better or worse.
My Thoughts:
As usual with anthologies, I’m going to break Worst Laid Plans down by story and then bring it all back together at the end.
The Stories:
Foreword by Sadie Hartmann
Mother Horror does a predictably great job introducing the collection. She basically provided a vacation-anxiety primer that I related to way harder than is probably healthy.
You’ve Been Saved by S. E. Howard
Friends Chris and Ethan are on a road trip. When they stop at a diner, a young woman bumps into Chris, passing him a note that says simply, “help.” Because they’re dummies, Chris is on the fence about whether or not he should get involved, and Ethan thinks she’s just fucking with him (because Ethan is a super-sized dummy). But when Chris finally decides to check it out, he learns there’s something way worse going on than he could have possibly imagined.
It’s gross and loads of fun.
Summers with Annie by Greg Sisco
A young boy and his father stop into the local cinema on the island they’ll be vacationing at. The theater is playing a movie called Summers with Annie. Partway through the film, the boy falls asleep, and when he awakens the credits are rolling and his father is nowhere to be found.
This story is creepy, but also kind of sweet, and almost poetic. But still definitely very creepy.
Expertise by Asher Ellis
A suave, handsome diving instructor and his rich divorcée client come face to face with a unique species of fish.
I never tire of shitty people get their comeuppance.
Unkindly Girls by Hailey Piper
Morgan’s dad is forever talking about “unkindly girls,” and trying to make sure that she never turns into one. Unfortunately, his idea of what makes a girl ‘unkindly’ seems to be both squishy and misogynistic as all get-out. Like the only thing keeping the teen from being deemed as unkindly by him is his conscious insistence that his little girl could never be that way. Well, during their annual rotating beach-side vacation, Morgan discovers just what happens when a girl becomes unkindly.
Hailey Piper has crafted another unforgettable and scary tale. I just love her work.
Deep in the Heart by Waylon Jordan
This coming of age tale of a cave tour gone horribly awry has shades of ‘The Descent, but make it worse by including children, and having nobody getting themselves into any semblance of possible danger of their own volition.’
Peelings by Kenzie Jennings
A woman whose husband is a complete d-bag gets a messed up case of sunburn while they’re vacationing with their equally awful children at ‘The Happiest Place on Earth.’
“Princesses forever!”
The Difference Between Crocodiles and Alligators
Terry goes to GatorCon. I don’t really want to say anything more than that, because this is a truly strange, but also inventive, bizarre and tense story. Is GatorCon a real thing? I’m not Googling it.
The Cucuy of Cancun by V. Castro
I think this might have been my favorite of the bunch.
The Cucuy is a Mexican bogeyman-type of creature whose lore apparently reaches across South-, Central-, and even parts of North America (based on what I was able to dig up using the USC Digital Folklore Archives – as per usual, if you have knowledge on the subject and I am wrong about something, I would appreciate your insight. I’m here to learn). So anyway, this Cucuy is hiding in the guise of a beautiful woman who preys on vacationers at a resort she has worked out a deal with. Namely it seems to be that they allow her to hunt occasionally, and she doesn’t kill them all.
Castro has an incredible talent with words – this story has some incredibly brutal, beautiful bits of writing in it.
Taylor Family Vacation ’93 by Jeremy Herbert
This one’s a bit of a heart-breaker. It’s about a family vacation and a man who records EVERYTHING with his video camera, but he’s not the only one. To be totally honest though, I did feel there was a bit of a disconnect for me between the recordings and the bigger story.
The Penanggalan by Scott Cole
This is another folklore based story. This time, a couple takes a last minute trip to Malaysia, and fall victim to the Penanggalan – a creature with the head of a beautiful woman, and a body straight out of your worst nightmares.
Sex with Dolphins by Chad Stroup
Ok, this one wins for best title. I’m not going to lie – after GatorCon, I was a little bit wary of this one, but it’s actually really…sweet.
The man disappears into the sea during a couples’ honeymoon, and a year after the fact, his heartbroken wife returns to the site of his disappearance. It’s a weird story for sure, but it will probably give you some Feels.
Caught a Glimpse by Patrick Lacey
A man who is just looking for some peace and quiet (selfishly, imo) takes a secret vacation – leaving his wife at home with their young children while claiming to be on a business trip. Everything is going great for him and his lying self until he catches a glimpse of the woman in the cabin next door.
In the Water by Mark Wheaton
This story moves between past and present as investigators try to determine what led to the grisly discovery of 4 jacked up corpses in a Thai hotel.
Good Times in the Bad Lands by Laura Keating
A father intent on the vacation of the lifetime with his wife and kids is making really good time on their way to a part of the Bad Lands they never intended to visit. In short, they find out why it’s called that (hint: not because of the extreme temperatures, near total lack of water, or the highly rugged terrain). This one is pure LSD-soaked nightmare-fuel, and a hell of a story to wrap this anthology up on.
Overall Rating:
(It was 4.6-something really, but rounded up to 5)
Worst Laid Plans is a really strong collection of thoroughly unsettling vacation stories. And the cover is gorgeous, clearly. I highly recommend picking up this collection as soon as humanly possible. You definitely will not regret it. This really is a collection of the absolute Worst Laid Plans.
Updated 2023: There’s now a movie too! Although outside the Indiegogo campaign (closed), I don’t know where you can pick up a copy.
Worst Laid Plans Edited by Samantha Kolesnik Grindhouse Press ISBN: 1941918700 Published: July 15, 2020 Format: Paperback, E-book 180 pages Publisher's Website: https://grindhousepress.com/
Fantastic review, this sounds like an amazing read with many creepy stories. It is quite rare for an anthology to get so high rated, at least in my eyes, most anthologies I read are a mixed bag. Definitely will have to buy it soon (probably after my vacation as I don’t want too many packages at the neighbours).
Yeah, they’re usually a mix for me too, but this one was just so good!
AWESOME review!! 😀 I loved this collection so much!
Yay! Tbh, I haven’t actually seen anyone review it poorly yet. Did you have a favorite story?
My favorite was definitely Deep in the Heart by Waylon Jordan! That one really spooked me!