I love Minecraft. I just want to say that before I start on this piece. In fact, as we speak, I am AFK-ing at my newly built guardian farm. But I very much do not love A Minecraft Movie.
Now, to return to business. Are you a human person of an multi-digit age? Then A Minecraft Movie was probably not meant for you. Although, for the record, the game definitely is. It is a true all ages game. But this movie is so narratively simplistic that it is honestly kind of bizarre. Also, as the main cast goes, I liked Steve the least (to be fair, I haven’t been a Jack Black fan in a loooong time. Like, can he do anything any less than absolutely to death?), but I also really didn’t care for Henry, and I’m not really sure why Natalie was even there (I actually had to look up the character’s name, because I honestly couldn’t remember).
It is definitely the Jack Black/Jason Momoa show here. But Jason Momoa’s Garrett “The Garbage Man” Whatever-his-last-name-was and the criminally under-utilized Dawn were the only MCs worth their screen time. Those two were honestly pretty perfect.
I feel like despite all of the considerable work that went into getting this movie made, they could have put a little more effort into the story. Like, one thing that really got me is the distinct lack of adventuring. Every place they needed to go had a portal conveniently right next to it, it seemed. And in a giant sandbox game, that feels pretty lazy. I know there were a few hints of adventuring here and there, but it was mostly hanging out in the Woodland Mansion to facilitate the whole stupid “chicken jockey” bit that had people who were way too old to be acting like toddlers acting publicly like toddlers, and building things in the one village.
There were parts that I thought were funny (almost always including either Dawn or Garrett), and I did enjoy seeing Minecraft YouTubers whose videos I enjoy (Mumbo Jumbo and LDShadowLady), but overall, I’m 100% sure that seeing A Minecraft Move once was more than enough for me. Oh, and just so I’ve said it aloud, I did super enjoy Jennifer Coolidge’s part, and the Matt Berry cameo had me cackling.
